Have You Really Thought About It?

Thought murmurs in all senses

thought like a smothering filth,

mother of all insecurity,

seeps through five senses

and murmurs behind them in tune

 

to truly think

the murmur

is dead

 

the murmur

is gone inside the self

 

the murmur is going to eat me

the murmur just wants to end

when it ends

 

i know what i want

is

that sense that i’m an alien

 

taking notes

able to consider everything

 

as if it was one and only

a one thing

 

the murmur

is hiding behind me

 

the murmur stands behind my shoulder

open jawed

like acid trip

apocalypses

 

the murmur

is my own stupid life,

to die

in a century

and be nothing

sooner than the something ever

acted

 

i have no sense of humor

about

this or

much else otherwise this is an extremely important

situation

 

i earnestly want to

gain your sympathy

 

i earnestly want the ideas in my mind

to correspond

 

to you and each other

and to the

way they think they represent things

 

i earnest wish not to laugh

i am holding everything in

 

i am going to hurt myself soon

 

i am a robot

 

i can’t place reality,

but i can’t

keep

the feeling

 

i cannot stand over top of myself

or stand over top

of anything

 

when i am lost

and then find it

i am

 

distressed by the answer

that is,

 

the lost is the good place

the found is

the problem i can’t ever

undo

 

that’s pretty important

really, really, really

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About vurinstitute

Horatio Somersault is the Director and Regent Chancellor of the VUR Institute, a think tank involving some as-yet-unknown and slightly spooky manipulations of time and interdimensionality. In his spare time Somersault enjoys writing poems and fables. You can read his writings, as well as those of other VUR inhabitants, at vurinstitute.wordpress.com. Though he lives a wanderer's life, his hometown is a domed biome inside the water core of the moon Europa. You can follow his experiences adapting to the customs of the early 21st century on his Twitter @VURdirector and can email him at vurinstitute at gmail dot com.
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