I am only writing to cure myself and my stresses and the repetitive cycles of my self-doubt, I’d like to write things to entertain other people or make me some money or make me some validation or make me some positive ego image but the task of making myself feel better is really crucial and fundamental to everything in my life it is what I most need and it is a big task at times that is demanding and it deserves my attention because I really don’t want to stress so hard anymore, man. I have to be patient with myself and not expect to be a “better person” (calm, happier, “more productive”) overnight. I can’t expect to have my brain not dump crazy stress shit on me overnight. It will have to be a slow, semi-repetitive task. It is easy to hit those triggers that can kill my calm and put me right back into the bad place. But these things are good because they will make me stronger. I can react to these things, I can handle them and not be so upset.