Meet New Science, Same as Old Science

Saw the top-rated article at the Guardian today

It says Microlives: the key to living longer

(There’s a lady smoking in the picture)

What I imagined it was about:

“Microlives”  are short phases of your life where you live a certain kind of lifestyle

i.e., living a microlife as a fasting ascetic,

a microlife as a gym rat protein shaker person,

a microlife as a beer drinking cigarette smoking hedonist,

etc.

and that if you continued to mix and match your lifestyles throughout your life

you’d develop a kind of “lifestyle diversity”

the way ecosystems can be biologically diverse

and your body would be trained to adapt itself to multiple lifestyle choices

and science would confirm this makes you live longer

It was really about measuring bad decisions by thirty minute increments of your life that

you are losing.

This is stupid because life is not that simple.

I wonder if you could get away with trading microlives like stock. “Futures markets” of microlives,

betting on microlives, etc.

I FEEL LIKE I COULD MAKE A KILLING

on that because

I REALIZE WHAT THEY’RE DOING IS STUPID

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About vurinstitute

Horatio Somersault is the Director and Regent Chancellor of the VUR Institute, a think tank involving some as-yet-unknown and slightly spooky manipulations of time and interdimensionality. In his spare time Somersault enjoys writing poems and fables. You can read his writings, as well as those of other VUR inhabitants, at vurinstitute.wordpress.com. Though he lives a wanderer's life, his hometown is a domed biome inside the water core of the moon Europa. You can follow his experiences adapting to the customs of the early 21st century on his Twitter @VURdirector and can email him at vurinstitute at gmail dot com.
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